akira's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- fucking sucks I'm trying. I'm doing the best I know how to do. I've had enough already. I've only felt this lost two times before and both times it was when I lost people. Or I thought I lost someone. I thought I've come so far. I thought I had everything all worked out. I've got all the little duckies in a row. Career, job security, house, wife, and debt. Isn't that the dream? Fuck this bullshit. Fuck this NORMAL crap I'm tired of trying now. Almost having a fucking panic attack at work? Really, this is what it's come to. I'm trying. The fucking twisted thing about all of this is that I used to thrive in this type of chaos! Now, I fucking lose it like some weak little girl. Doing this sober, fucking sucks. Doing this without cutting or burning, fucking sucks. Doing this without being myself, FUCKING SUCKS! - - ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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