akira's Diaryland Diary

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no one

the wave of sedation washing slowly over me. i don't want to be here anymore. i fight and i fight and i fight to keep my head above water. to just skim the surface of what she wants me to be. how she wants me to act. who she planted in her head what's the right way i should be. im sick of it now. im tired of trying. month after month she finds things wrong with me. I can't keep putting myself through this. im not good enough. i will never be good enough according to her. i shouldn't have to try and be someone else to make her happy. or to make her love me. i shouldn't have to be anything other then me. the me she supposedly fell in love with. the me that ive been.
i can't do this anymore. i can't keep doing this. i can't keep allowing her to hurt me over and over again.
but i don't think i can walk away either.
ive got no one to talk to. ive got no one who understands. ive got no one who listens. ive got no one. ive got no one. ive got no one. ive got no one. ive got no one.

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