akira's Diaryland Diary

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Always

The truth is I've always cared about what she thought of me. How I looked. What I was doing with myself. How I was coping with this that or the other. It's always been her opinion that mattered. Even now in all the fuckedupness that we have going on. And that's what burns inside of me. From the first time I met her shes completed me. Made me feel whole. She filled this emptiness that was created so long ago in me and I hate it because now I don't know what to do without her. I don't know what's going to happen. That scares me. Terrifies me actually. I have nothing else to lose now. Nothing. I say I'm done. That I don't care anymore. The truth is I care more then anything. I don't want to trust me. I wish I could turn it off. But it's such a part of me that I don't know how to.
*ding* I don't want this anymore. The nightmares. The crappy feelings. The hurt. The history. The past. I'm done with all of it. I'm done with being like this. And being me.
Ave )o( Akira

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