akira's Diaryland Diary

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nice dr man

i had my surgery consultation today. and while talking with this wonderful dr man in the long white coat, i mention "so.....here's the thing. a long time ago i had the issue with narcotics. and so i was reading in the binder'o plenty, after the surgery i'll have a moraphine pain pump. ya i don't want that" so mr nice dr man asks "what kind of narcotics. vicodin, percocet?" me "no heroin. moraphine. meth." nice dr man "OH!" looks at my arms for track marks. "i see.....well you don't have to have one. if you don't mind i'd like to address that a little" hehehe totally threw this guy for a loop. there are times when i forget who i am. admittidly so, i've come a LONG way. long gone are the days of needle marks on me. the night terrors and waking up in writhing pain. my mind for the most part has peace. i live my life by the same rules. just be me. but i can handle seeing myself now. i can deal with everything life throws at me, or most everything at least.
*ding*
i realized something about myself recently. the shit i've been through. that isn't normal. like that isn't everybodys life. everyone wasn't raped at 5 and made to have many surgeries to be fixed all back together. wait is that a strange statement?
)o( ave akira

- 5.7.09

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