akira's Diaryland Diary

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trio

for the past week i've been between wanting to slma my daughter through a wall, and knowing i should just let it go. the problem is...that i never once thought that she would be so close to walking down the path that i once strolled.
at her age i was already shooting up speed and having unprotected sex with multiple guys, sometimes at once. so maybe her lying to me about any number of trival things isn't really all that bad? other then the fact that i was infact lying about where i was to my mother, and they were all started from...a trival lie. i know she's not me. i know that she's got none of the same types of friends that i had. however what i don't know, can hurt me/her. you know it's crazy, i've worked this hard to keep my life from repeating over on to her and now....it could all fall apart. i haven't been through this before so how am i suppose to know what to watch out for?
well....maybe that's not true because i've been there.
*ding*
i've noticed, change and stress currently make me a little edgy. "oh you think akira?" seriously, i've never noticed it before. i can separate life from work. and work from life. but when it has to do w/ my precious? not so much. i was seriously thinking about talking to her like an intervension, and basically....i did. your lying has effected me in the following ways....hehe
*ding*
i've been thinking lately, prior to the drama w/ my precious, there are all these fucked up thoughts going on around in my head. dreams. nightmares. memories. and they swirl around in my little brain, going over and over did that really happen. there was a time when i couldn't forget, recently, i can't remember. it seems like it was someone else. i was someone else.
ave )o(
akira

- 4.17.09

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