akira's Diaryland Diary

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Baphomet's Charm

Backed into a corner. Pushed and pushed to a breaking point. I'm at my limit for bullshit tolerance. Nine months. Nine months of hurt and hate and anger and embarrassment and holding it all in. I came so close tonight. The who I can be. The dark evil hateful survivor that ruins people and lives. Destroying the "happiness" they think they deserve. I walked dangerously close to that. The blackness welling up inside me. I want to end them. Truly deeply want to end them. In painfully unique ways. Torture Karen that fucking whore cunt waste of pathetic breath and space. And it's be so easy. She's so fucking weak. So fucking pathetic needing everyone's approval and for everyone to like her. I swear this, on all that I am, to my core, I will ruin her life, just for fun. Somewhere in the deep recesses of my emails lay those text messages back and forth. A "send all" company wife should do the trick. Then one mailed to home. I wouldn't mind wasting a 50cent stamp on her if its for a good cause.
My everything. My love. My soulmate. Tis a harder feat. How do you intentionally destroy someone that you are physically incapable of living without regardless of betrayal? One of my tow reasons for existing for the past 13 years on my life. 2013 Baphomet's charm. Mother fucker was suppose to be a new beginning. Our 13th year on the 13th with the zodiac. Fuck that.
7 Xanax later. Fuck it. Cut bleed sleep. Tia the life of a insane crazy bitch. A title which I hold my head high!!!
Ave )o( Akira

Hold on to me love.
You know I can't stay long.
All I wanted to say was I love you, and I'm not afraid.
Can you hear me?
Can you feel me in your arms?

Holding my last breath.
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you.
Sweet raptured light.
It ends here tonight.

I'll miss the winter.
A world of fragile things.
Look for me in the white forest
Hiding in a hollow tree (Come find me)
I know you hear me.
I can taste it in your tears!

Holding my last breath.
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you.
Sweet raptured light.
It ends here tonight.

Closing your eyes to disappear
You pray your dreams will leave you here,
But still you wake, and know the truth.
No one's there.

Say goodnight.
Don't be afraid.
Calling me, holding me as you fade to black.

Holding my last breath.
Safe inside myself
Are all my thoughts of you.
Sweet raptured light.
It ends here tonight.

(Holding my last breath.)

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