akira's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Tired I'm tired of waking up with my eyes swollen from crying. Either from nightmares or because my life is falling and has been falling apart. I don't know how I spiraled into what I am right now. I always thought I was good at keeping all the little parts of me separate in their own little boxes and corners of my mind. Yes every now and again one of them would sneak out and peer it's wicked little head causing some chaos, but for the most part I had my shit together. Hidden away. Locked up tight. I wish I had never had gotten told medically that I'm fucked up in the head. Now it's all anyone associates me with. I'm having a hard day, I'm manic. I just want to be left alone, I'm depressed. I'm hyper, I'm cycling. I'm sleepy, I'm about to cycle. How about I'm just living my life taking the punches that come along with the fight? Jesus. I am human. I am not my diagnosis. Sometimes bad days are just that, bad days. Sometimes wanting to be left alone is just wanting peace and quiet. That's all. I'm just tired is all. Tired of trying to be the person I'm told I should be. Because truth be told....I didn't think there was anything wrong with the person I was. - ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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