akira's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

again and again

Again again
I don't regret who I am. I don't regret having done the things in my life that I have. Loving the people I've loved. I look at all the good and bad that has happened as little pieces of my whole that make me me. That make me who I am flaws and all. The words she's said have been plaguing me like a virus. Stuck in my head repeating over and over. Making me question who I am. Now that's not her fault I do this to myself. But it made me think, I've known who I am. Always. If someone has to make a statement like that, it's them who are confused. Most of those statements came from schnozzle (the name mrs s and I came up with). Implants in the ew's little brain.
This is the same ol same ol.
She's trying. Even at work. I still have my guard up. I have to. I'm still heartbroken. I'm still damaged. I'm still hurt. The thought that she cared about someone else destroys me emotionally and mentally. The fact that she meant more to her then me, kills me.
My ex told me, she was her heroin. Just think of it like that. She was nothing more then a fix. The problem with that my dear is that you left me for your fix.
And once again Xanax is my new best friend. Medicinal happiness. I love it.
Ave )o) Akira

-

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next