akira's Diaryland Diary

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For the one who emailed me

To the person who emailed me regarding my last post (and I guess basically my who diary?), no worries about my using again. First and foremost this, I don't give in that easy. Ever. Second, I've lost all contact with anyone who could hook me up to fade out anything anyway. Third, I've probably lost any ability to hit a vein anyway. (that last one was a joke btw)
Anyway, in regards to how long I've been sober...hmmm...many many moons. I never considered myself a addicted so I don't consider myself needin to have an end date. I stopped using because my wife stood by me and showed me that drugs only mask problems and eventually when your sober the problems are still there. That is a fact that I can promise you.
My "influences" as you called them were my friends, my support, and my saving grace when I was younger. They had been through either the same bullshit or worse in their lives and since I was the baby of the crew they did what they knew would help me deal. Some people think giving someone as young as I was drugs to teach them how to cope is wrong but they did what they though was best. I don't blame them or hold them responsible.
The issue of my ex, well that's my business and I choose not to address that. But thank you for asking.
I don't know your situation. I can't pretend to understand. But I can tell you this much, cutting doesn't make you crazy. It just means right now your out of control of a situation andthats your way of being in control. Doings drugs is just the quick fix. Your life will still be there when you come down. Don't judge yourself too hashly because it's all about the journey that we're on. Sometimes we're going up a hill and tredging hard and long, other times it's smooth sailing all downhill easy paths. But, if you choose to cut the path short.....the journeys over and you never get to see the destination.
)o( akira

- 12.17.09

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