akira's Diaryland Diary

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All in my head

i realize its probably all in my head. like i get that. the Xanax helps and when it starts to wear off i fell the anxiety come ebbing back. im wondering if takin it for the anxiety is actually causing more anxiety. i did call that dr aging to see if i could get in with her because honestly I'm ready to fucking kill myself if i feel like this much longer.
i have never felt so overwhelmed by anything before. and not having anyone who gets it or using any of my typical vices sucks.
no sleep last night. and when i was sleeping I was having bad dreams. to woken up the way she did scared me. im having a hard time figuring out if im awake when i wake up as is but to have it done like that? so i guess I'm back to being a nuisance to her when she sleeps or is trying to sleep.
i wish i could make things go back to the way the way they were. i just wish i felt important to her again.

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