akira's Diaryland Diary

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I Wonder

There are times like now when I wonder what my life would have been like if I'd never been raped. What would have happened if all these things had never been done to me. Who would I be? Would I be the weak person that I am right now. Allowing stupid bullshit to twist my thoughts and giving me nightmares? What would my mind set be like if I wasn't the person that I am today?
I hate that when I look in the mirror right now I see someone I haven't seen in years. That' the person staring back at me is someone who's confused by what she's feeling not knowing if its a valid feeling or if it's something that's made up in my head because I'm damaged and broken. Is it real is all I want to know.

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