akira's Diaryland Diary

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all mixed up

drinking early today. :evil grin: i don't have a problem. nah. actually truth be told, drugs and booze have never been a problem for me. i can do them and drink them for months and months, then when i'm done...boom...done. when all the little demons are done playing with my emotions and head, the drugs and booze are no longer needed. dr's don't like it, family don't like it, friends don't like it, but...walk in my shoes, then...pass judgement. just because i'm not using anymore doesn't mean that i still don't have my demons. doesn't mean they still don't hurt. doesn't mean that i still have to cope. i don't need the needles anymore to make them go away, but....they still need to go away.
*ding*
my baby girl is graduating from Jr. High School. moving on to the grade that i was when i starting shoot up meth. actually...she IS the age i was when i started my little walk on the wild side. hmm..this is gonna be fun. seriously, i believe her final report card is gonna read 6 b's and 1 a. i never, ever saw b's or a's on my report card unless it said "Akira, had a Bad Attitude" and that was it. hehe
Mom, i know your gonna be there, i just wish you were gonna be there. she's growing up so fucking fast and i miss you SO fucking much right now. i love you.
*ding*
i wonder if this was for the best. hehe friends. fuck it.
ok i'm so done.
)o( ave
Akira

- 6.6.09

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