akira's Diaryland
Diary
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mysterious me
I keeep getting told how I'm mysterious. Friends online, friends I work with. It's odd to me. I speak my mind, I'm me all the time. Granted I have many sides to me, but they all show. The only one I hide is the dark side. God it sounds like I'm a jedi or something. lol LUKE I'M YOUR MOTHER hehe *ding*
I was talking to Mangledoll this evening, she was telling me about these wonderful raves she goes to. She's dressing up as a superhero (really just looking for a reason to wear water guns). Anyway, the topic came up of why I'm not allowed to go to raves. That made me think of this whole lifestyle I had. I act like I've always been this victim, when actually some things that have happened to me have been because I was careless. Pure and simple. I use to go to raves all the time with my cousin and her friends. At that point I was doing a BUNCH of crystal via needles. BAD FUCKING SHIT The rave secene at that time was very underground, and security was the minority in the crowd. One rave I went to my ex J was there with his brother/friends. I was dancing with this guy I didn't know all fucked up on meth. He ended up taking me into a corner and raping me while something 20 people watched thinking it was a play or something. One security guard walked by but didn't do anything, I still have no idea why. When he was done he thanked me and shot me up with what I later found out was heroin. But there's a lesson to be learned here....the entire time I was dancing with him he kept telling me he was going to rape me, kill me, cut my head off, etc. So what does my drugged up stupid ass do?? Keep dancing with him. J found me on the floor of the club, half neked and unconcious. After a hospital stay he made me swear to him I would never go to another rave again. I've held that promise for 12 years.
Moral of the story kiddies.....If your gonna do drugs...talk to me and realize drugs suck. *ding*
God I sound like such a anti-drug campaign. I'm not pro drugs, I'm not anti drugs. I use them. I've cut back on the amount and style of drugs I do. When people I love or care about do them I get really anal about them being safe and what not. I'm a mother hen through and through. Ask Mango or Cordy. It's funny actually my little tweaker friend was doing MAD amounts of drugs. Smoking it and shit. I saw her get sick from having bad shit, from that time on I bugged her to quit. Every single day. After J died, I swore to myself that I would never stand by and watch anyone kill themselves again. *ding*
I got to decorate my work today. Put up my blinking green skeletons (1's missing a arm), black and purple bat garland (minus several purple bats), tried to hang up my BIG bat and spider but it's much more complex then I thought it was. I was so amped. Happy day at work. *ding*
ORGY COMES OUT TOMORROW!! Everyone MUST go out and buy it. Listen to me the music this band puts out is fucking amazing. I useto know the bassist. He was in local bands around my area. He wore skirts and shit. Odd odd boy but damn could he play! Orgy's the proof. So go out and buy the god damn CD already. *ding*
I got into a fight with Possum today. That mother fucker is going out with this chick who I ALWAYS get into fights with. She's was the main reason J and I would fight. It's a big long story. One night I'll spill my "PAST". It's funny as hell. Actually I was telling my co-workers today about the fights I use to get into with her. One said "Your evil" the other just looked at me with a blank stare on his face. *thinking* Maybe that's where the "MYSTERIOUS" thing comes in at. hehe Ave )O( Akira
- 10 * 10 * 00
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