akira's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- in short Truth be told...I'm not doing so hot mentally! *gasp* No really. Mentally I'm all over the fucking place. The other day, KNOWING I'm not thinking well I went to my local hospital seeking admittance into a psych hospital. I sat there while they asked me questions, not unfamiliar to me, then the little nice man walked out of the room (which by the way was rather dark for an office I might add), and about a half an hour later he walked back in carrying what seemed to be a TON of papers asking me "just sign these and we'll move right along". Me having a TOTALLY paranoid state of mind reads everything twice, pissing off the once nice little man. "Really Misses Soandso it's nothing but a couple of legal papers nothing to worry yourself about" my reply "Listen if I wasn't neurotic then I wouldn't be here now would I DOC? Just hush yourself and let me be paranoid." Third page in. That's when I read it .....basically by signing this "nothing to worry myself over" piece of paper.....I'd be signing away my legal rights to my daughter for the containment of my stay at "Happy Loony Place Acres". My face must have turned into Linda Blaire from the exorcist or something because he literally turned away to run. I asked why this was something put in here. "I'm still "technically" with her father. We live together, we still (at times) have sex, why was this piece of paper, this LEGAL DOCUMENT included into MY normal paper work??? If I'm still with her???" Nice little man now not being so nice, acting more like I was a psychotic inpatient responds with a lame excuse..."Well you see it's really for your daughters benefit her safety if you will be. If something should happen to her while your in our custody. Something serious. Then they would need BOTH signatures for her to be medically attended to. If your in psychiatric custody then you can't legally sign." Now you'd think this sounds good wouldn't you??? However, I've been through a rather serious surgery with her already when she was two. And you know what??? Her FATHER is the only one that signed those papers (me I was hysterically crying). *gasp* No Akira please don't tell me that they LIED to you! *akra nods head* Yup. That's exactly what they did! I looked at him. Stared the nice little man, I was now seeing as a vial deceitful person, picked up the papers I had ALREADY signed, tore them up in his face politely said "Thank you but I think YOU, and all the happy little doctors here could never help me." Took the tore up pieces with me and walked out. *sigh* So sadly enough, I don't think I'm EVER going to trust another doctor again. See that's why Riley is fucking good for me. I talked to him about that whole thing today. He's like "They shouldn't have had YOU sign anything. And they weren't supposed to admit you without having someone there for YOUR benefit! *evil grin* Maybe I'm just not ready to lose my daughter to make myself better. Maybe there's nothing really wrong with me anyway! Everyone's telling me how together I seem. How they'd LOVE to possess my ideas, my views on life, my honesty. *ding* Ok well I'm drunk. Ave )O( Akira - 10 * 18 * 00 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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