akira's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- this is 2 purge this fucked up shit before it festers turning into something uncontrolable something beyond my grasp i hate this shit i hate being out of control not being able to stop my thougts before they happen anything I touch gets so fucked up and tainted i should just slit my wrists now be done with this bullshit that's my life would arsnic do the same amount of damage maybe a fire talk to me when I'm not manic and on the verge of breaking apart shit to slice myself up FUCK THIS SHIT! i'm doing the right thing i'm doing right holding in all the fucked up thoughts going through my head the needs and cravings for shit FUCK YOU! i can't be anyone right now i need to dissappear i need to hide curl up inside my distrubed mind go away FUCK THE WORLD! FUCK THE WORLD! i'm an inhuman cold fucking hatefilled vial person destroy me please just kill me now my life has set me up for this point it's been trying to tell me that I'm not suppose to be here anymore i'm not doing anything good for anyone anymore i'm worthless fucking worthless i can't be just that I'm fucked up FUCK YOU if you think i'd sugar coat life for you PEOPLE don't mean DICK to me i'm done with my life now i'm sick of being happy nice calm don't tell me to calm down don't ask me to stop being me this is who i am no disguise no fake bullshit this is me detesting people hating life yet looking into her eyes and knowing i suck it all up for her what good am i doing for her what benifit is she getting from me nurotic over protective fucked up mother she better off with me dead she'd get money from social security if i died but could i leave her never - 10 * 11 * 00 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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