akira's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I'm not here I'm here. I'm not here. I'm here. I'm not here. I'm here...for now. This is me reporting something. I'm not sure what. I'm emotional. Irrational. PMSional. Just basically not happy on the whole. But what else is new? Nada. Trying to make right. Trying to deal with the cards given to me. Still not accepting. Still not wanting to accept. So shoot me. Who cares? Dreaming of things that should be. Of how things were suppose to be. Before the lies. Before the bullshit. Before the pain and hurt. Hearing her voice scolding me for new piercings and tattoos. Hearing her laughter. God I miss it. I miss her. I figured out life is cruel and unforgiving. There are no breaks from it. There are no escapes or exits from the constant waves. Tell me it's all just a dream. That I'll wake up once again the same person. I've gone through this once before, only then it wasn't personal. It wasn't like this. Feeling hopeless, lost, afraid to open my eyes. This is cruel. It's mean and it's just cruel. I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to feel this anymore. I want out. Ave - 4 * 30 * 01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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