akira's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- a way to cope The last one entry was just a neat little thing that I found and wanted to share. I haven't had the motivation or want to write in here for a really long time. A while ago I started another dairy, something to help me cope with my mom. I didn't tell anyone about, just started it and wrote in it to my mom, from me to her. I don't know if it's helping and more then likely it's not the most healthist thing for me to be doing it but oh well. Dear Mom, I've always been better at writting thoughts and feelings out, then talking them out. So ya go and check it out if you want. I realize that many many many people have lost their parents or someone that means the world to them at some point in time. I know this, I don't pretend to be the only one who's dealt with shit in their lives like I have either but I'm also not someone who deals with things. I hide, ignore, cut, burn, starve myself, anything except deal with it. (that's what you get for having a Satanist as an idol when your 5 hehe) It's not healthy and it puts the people that love me, or just like me a whole lot, through massive bullshit and worry...for that I'm sorry. Truly, deeply, sorry. I'm doing the best that I can. Syl (my friend) gave me the number of this lady who's willing to councel me. She's normally a drug and alcohol councelor but she's "willing to see me" little does Syl know that I drink everynight, however I have cut back some (just too damn expensive haha). Now I've just gotta work up enough guts to call this chick. Wish me luck. Ave )O( Akira - 3 * 3 * 00 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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