akira's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- screwy minded Screwy minded recently. I've been sick sick sick for 4 days now. I'm in pain almost all day and night, I'm plagued with nightmares when I sleep so it's sporadic. And on top of all that my Voodu hasn't been coming to be with me so I'm left to drift into slumber alone. Which I hate doing when I have these fits of restlessness and agony. *ding* I found out last night that the fucking loser that stole all my shit and sold it for drugs also somehow got a hold of an old checking account statement and used the number to order a bunch of shit online as well as opening an aol account so I owe in excess of a grand to various online places for shit that they shouldn't have sent to him anyway. I contacted aohell and told them that it was a fraudulent account and I was informed that I would either have to claim bankruptcy or pay that amount that I owe. Ya right. Find that junkie and get your money from him! *ding* I've been making wallpaper all day today out of various pictures of Brett Scallions that I've stolen offline. I made one for one of my roommates of Rob Zombie. I miss making my web pages. I had fun collecting things and putting them in a collage format. *ding* If ANYONE can help me with a new layout for my diary PLEASE PLEASE email me and let me know. *ding* Why does she do these things to me? Does she hear my thoughts of wanting to end things with her? Last night I'm sure I had no right to be pissed in her eyes, but I did. If it was me that was staying up until 2:30 or 3 in the morning she'd be totally pissed off giving me a crap load of shit about how I needed to get sleep. Fuck as it is she gets pissed that I've been sleeping a lot knowing that I'm sick. I do whatever she asks, I try and avoid arguments and let her have her fits (while I've had my fair share of mine), and she treats me like crap half the time - and only later realizes that she's being fucked up to me for no reason. So why do I stay? I ask myself this question all the time. I stay because I love her. I stay because I know that she's trying, she just picks really crappy times to be fucked up towards me. Someone told me once that it's the tough ones that get hurt the worst. Their the ones with the tender hearts that ache when no one sees them. Ave )O( Akira - July 28 2002 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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