akira's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- get fucked so this is where i'm at. this is who i am. this is who i've always been. only now. now i'm a bit wiser. a bit stronger. i dont' give a fuck who i lose anymore. i'm getting cold. possible because i've been hurt one too many times by her and because it's so easy for her to do it now. she just spouts off her words not everthing that my mind can't let go of words said out of hate and anger so eaisly. tonight was so sweet. she thinks i didn't have fun. it was nice. what fucking sucks is that i'm totally uncomfortable around her now when we go out. i know how different we are. i feel totally fucking like i'm this stranger to her when we doing something "coupleish" now. it's my fault because the only time that i allow myself feel for her is when we're home and in her "space". i'm losing my mind. i'm losing this fucking control that i have to be "good". life was so much fucking eaiser when i just did what ever the fucking i wanted and didn't care about what others thought of me. let her go and play her fucking games, mental and playstation and have her PERFECT little life. how can anyone love and hate someone at the same time. no akira, don't say a word. just be who i'm wanting you to be when i'm wanting you to be it. don't be who you've always been. don't be the person that you were. you know what fuck you. fuck you and fuck this doing things for the better of yourself bullshit. because that's all it is. it's fucking bullshit. i do what's right and i'm fucked. i do what i feel in my heart and i'm fucked. i do what's i'm asked and i'm fucked. so if i'm gonna get fucked i'm gonna get fucked and have a good time while i'm getting fucked. - ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||