akira's Diaryland Diary

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random thoughts

i'm a bit drunk. lastnight and tonight i've been reading about myotonic dystrophy it's what my mom has...err..had.

i was thinking today..what was she thinking. did she know that she was dieing? did she think about me and my daughter? then in the next minute i can't imagine my life without her in it.

how the fuck am i going to raise my daughter? how the fuck can i? how is she ever going to know that her gramma d was the most amazing person?

what the fuck am i going to do?

i'm tired. i want to sleep. i want to fucking scream.

i'm so fucking mad. i hate this. i really fucking hate this. i'm torn between what i believe and what i'm feeling.

i want to sleep my life away. i feel so fucking confused and lost.

random thoughts pour into my mind. my irrational side comes out.

stay busy.

keep my mind off of thinking.

burn and cut at will.

i should have been there for her.

kira

- 2 * 08 * 01

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