akira's Diaryland Diary
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pretending
Music saves me soul (as if that's anything new) and I've recently gotten re-obsessed with Fuel. *evil giggle* Bret is just a fucking god. Look at these pictures of him and tell me differently. *drool*
Good lord. I'm getting fully obfuckingsessed with this man. I wonder if stalking him from a far is still considered stalking?? *thinking*
*ding*
My support crew is great. Though they've taken any source of pain I might hope to find, my razors, my lighters, anything sharp is strictly prohibited for me. :o( I talked with my Nana today, she begged me to not hurt myself "hunny, we've hurt enough, please don't hurt yourself anymore then you already have". My mom totally understood my self mutilation vices. I stated slicing myself when my parents were still married, while my daddy was drinking. I'd get so fucking pissed off by him drinking that I'd take a razor and cut my hands. When that made my mom upset I'd punch brick walls. Almost broke my hand once or twice. But it was back to the razors, blood is much more satisfying when it's coming from a cut instead of a skin abrasion.
*ding*
Went up to my daddy's today. He helped my go through all of my mom's papers. The first thing he said when he saw me "God you look like shit. Your taking this pretty hard huh?" I just looked at him and said "No actually I've been out dancing everynight since." I love him but there are times when I don't like him very much. All in all I guess I am doing good. My attitude sucks shit, but I'm really trying to handle things like an adult. I cry by myself. Hide those distructive thoughts from everyone it could hurt.
Sunburn
Mary pretends she's so insane, so insane, so insane
Mary pretends she's so insane, so insane, so insane
She just sits back and laughs at the pain
Laughs at the pain, laughs at the pain
Mary pretends she's so insane, so insane, so insane
Falling down of her mind
Gives her everything she's wanted from the world
Closes her eyes, drifts inside, so alive
She wants to know what it feels like
She wants to know how to fly
She wants to know what it feels like to die
Goodbye
Mary pretends she's so insane, so insane, so insane
Mary pretends she's so insane, so insane, so insane
She just sits back and laughs at the pain
Laughs at the pain, laughs at the pain
Mary pretends she's so insane, so insane, so insane
Falling down of her mind
Gives her everything she's wanted from the world
Closes her eyes, drifts inside, so alive
She wants to know what it feels like
She wants to know how to fly
She wants to know what it feels like to die
Goodbye
Falling down of her mind
Gives her everything she's wanted from the world
Closes her eyes, drifts inside, so alive
She wants to know what it feels like
She wants to know how to fly
She wants to know what it feels like to die
Goodbye
Songs have some amount of truth to them.
Ave )O( Akira
981373145 - 2 * 5 * 01
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