akira's Diaryland Diary

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All mixed up

possibly having to go to court for custody makes me think that I should be locking this up. do people really know who I am? do I really care if people really know who I am?
what if all my past gets thrown back in my face? would i really care? all it would show me is that i've come farther then anyone expected me to.
i can tell you this much i'm sick of the bullshit. sick if the "potential risk" it's been too long, i can't kiss akira away. it's part of who i am now. it's my legacy. fuck it's my life.
*ding*
new topic. who knew being a grown up was going to suck this much? i had the warnings. no more late nights. when they are late nights, i'm wrecked in the morning. no more drugs. little to no booze. i do the 40+ hour work week get the check, pay the bills, and every now and again go out with the girls.
*ding*
so the last time I went out was with these chicks from work. mind you they're all about 9 years younger then i am. we went to this "hip hop" club. i drank my typical shots of Absolut. got BOMBED! HAMMERED! and was sicker then shit for 2 fucking days! No Akira can NOT drink like she use to. But I still maintain that warm booze will fuck anyone up harder then chilled.
*ding*
Mom's anniversary came and went. it use to be that I would spend that day getting fucked up. this year we went and saw a movie. had a nice lunch. and i just let the day float away. does that mean i'm letting her float away too?
Ave )O( Akira

10:01 p.m. - Feb. 15th 2005

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