akira's Diaryland Diary

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What's wrong

Why is this happening? I did all the right things. I've got job, my own place, I pay all my own bills. I'm being responsible now. I stopped using, stopped drinking, and basically I'm boring as all hell. So why is this happening again? I don't get it. I'm trying really really hard to be and do all the things that a "normal" person does and is. Wasn't that the problem? I was creating my own hell. My own problems? By choosing paths that I choose I was making my life harder then it needed to be, right?

So then why is it coming back? Why is my head confused all the time again? Why won't these stupid fucked up feelings stay gone now? Why is it all I want to do is sleep, or when I should be sleeping, why can't I?

I thought I was suppose to be better now?

I thought I was suppose to normal now?

I thought I was suppose to right.

- December 1 2003

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