akira's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- happy birthday baby Run down of the day in all it's glory. I woke up to my daughter, my 5 YEAR OLD daughter trying to get on her bike. Then we filled goodie bags only to figure out that we were 8 short, so back to Target we went where my boy spent ANOTHER small fortune. Then, we went and bought out most of the bakery section of Albertson's (Anenigma I am NOT), up to daycare, party..party...party, then home we come. She rode her bike, fell 3 times...*points no where inparticular* over here, over there, and over there. Then is was off to Chuck E Cheese we go. She smiled and laughed. God what a fucking wonderful day. Her dad was in a good mood, my boy was in a good mood, friends from work came and kicked it at a little kid party. How cool are they?? I amaze myself sometimes. I'm in this...God I don't even know what to call it...I want to mutilate myself and people around me. I want to fucking DESTROY this chick at work. I want slam her face into the ground until it's hamburger. I want to burn flesh off. Her crime??? (outside of breathing) she actually thought that my boy would get violent with her. She was worrying about the wrong person. Riley is going to make a fucking amazing head doctor when he graduates. He told said about 3 weeks ago his major concern for me in the near future was me going "Manic". I didn't know at that time what the hell that even was. I just told him that I'm doing good, I'm hoping to do better with all the changes going on. Now I know what the hell it means. Manic Ummm...ya I think Riley had me pegged perdy well. The question now? How the hell do I get out of that? I'm doing things that I've totally out of character for me. I'm listening to one song over and over and over. Usually it's an entire CD or cassette, nope not this time, it's just one song. Could be because I don't have the entire CD to listen to. I've gone insane...ya that's it. :o) I'm all over the place emotionally. I want to slice my wrists one minute and just fucking die, but not in the "realistic" sense. I want to die and not have all these fucking memories in my head. Then the next minute I'm all...God I love my life type of thing. I need to get fucked up that's what it is. I need to slam something that'll make me sick as hell to realize what I've got to lose. Do you know I never learn my lesson? LMAO! Never. It's all good though because, after a while I realize what I need to know on my own. I went and sent my application in for Diaryland Survivor. This little chicka that is running it is fucking brilliant. I've FINALLY finished reading all of her past entries. Ok anyway, back to the Survivor thing....they kick off Sean. OH MY GOD The last hot dude to look at?? What the fuck is up with that? lol We had to record it (being a chuck e cheese and all). It's way cool to watch it recorded. We get to find out MUCH quicker this way. LMAO! Does that make sense? Anyway, I'm saying that Rudy will be the survivor. If Rich stays all of the Pagong people hate his neked ass anyway so.... Did I just make an entry about Survivor? Heaven help me. LMAO! Ave )O( Akira - 8 * 16 * 00 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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