akira's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the day before Today was the WORST fucking day. ACK. I just want to get drunk and fucking forget this day happened in my life. I tried to enroll my daughter today. I had called 2, not 1 but 2 fucking weeks before to find out what I needed to enroll her in this one school district. They told me just social security card and proof of immunization. I go there today with both of those and some fat bitch behind a counter TRYING to act important tells me how I need to have a utility bill proving that I live where I'm stating I live, which isn't a problem if I really lived there but I dont'. I was using my sister in-laws addy to get her into a better school district. Anyway, fat lady was mean and rude to me and falt out told me I wasn't going to be enrolling my child in this school district without proof of a utility bill. I sat in the parking lot and cried for about 30 minutes. I'm flippin out here. I know I am. I'm being givin TOO much to deal with at once again. I know this because I never cry in public. NEVER Techinically today is my girl's 5th birthday. I have no idea what the hell I'm feeling inside. None. Today my boy and I went SUPER shopping for goodie bag favors and her b-day present (which caused a fight in the house go fig). The ONLY thing in my life I've done right is now of age as far as I'm concerned. My mind is all fucked up. It's 22 minutes after 12 and already I'm gone. lol Riley called me today to remind me that we have an appointment on Thrusday. He didn't like the way I sounded. He's worried that I'm not going to be able to deal with things. He asked me how long it's been since I've done drugs. He wanted to know if I was still talking to the people that deal. He asked me to promise him that I would wait until September 20th if I was going to do drugs again. He knows that I'll get lost in that Fuel CD. He knows. *smile* All I need in my life is...my daughter safe and healthy.....my music ALL OF IT and.......my boy. That's it. *thinking* And maybe my daddy. *smile* At 3:29 am on August 16th I had my daughter. After a miscarriage and (sadly) many abortions I had the soul posession that helped me survive this far. My daughter is the one soul in my life that made me realize that I'm worth something. I HAVE TO live because of her. I must. ave )o( akira - 8 * 16 * 00 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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