akira's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- dream a little dream my ex was a heroin addict. well actually two of my ex's were. one was just up front about it, in telling me that he was using after i found out- that was j. the other just decided that because i was no longer around he was going become a pathetic bucket of shit and steal from me and my daughter - that was stevan aka loser. i'm 29 years old and in that time, i've been betrayed by every person i've ever trusted and that's my fault. i should know that people can't be trusted. people are foulable and are prone to making mistakes. i myself an not about making mistakes, i've just got the ability to see them and admit that they were infact mistakes. she said she's not going to read this anymore. you see she didn't like the last entry because i wrote what i was feeling. i wrote from my heart. she doesn't like that. but it's not her diary to say what i write and she would never ask me to do that. i had a dream lastnight that j was still alive. we were camping and it was morning. it was cold, grey, and quiet outside. we were cuddleded together under a sleeping bag. he was already awake and watching me. i woke up and he smiled at me and kissed me on my forhead. we lied together for a little bit, then he sat up and picked up something out of his shoe, put his hoddie and pants on, put whatever he took out of his shoe into his pocket, put on his shoes, leaned over and gave me the gentleist kiss, told me he loved me, that they would be watching me and to keep making them proud and left. keep making them proud....i wonder if i really am making them proud. ave )O( akira - august 23 02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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