akira's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- blaber blaber I need to find time to update more often. Things happen and I need to purge them. I HAVE to. :o) I've mentioned that I'm obsessed with John Edward. Well it's gone to a whole new level. I'm verge stalker. I want to meet with him, talk with him, anything. I think it's because I NEED to know that what I feel from J isn't in my head. I need to know that what I'm feeling from losing him is valid. I'm so fucking drunk. I've been trying to write this entry for like an hour. I just keep drinking and writing. I need the words to this Fuel song that they have out. I know some of them.....a lot of them. I live for music. I always have. My uncle use to play for me, my ex boyfriend. It's a part of my life. It helps me to escape reality. So they have this song...this sone that I've been listening too for over an hour...over and over. "Don't fall away, I'm so fucking drunk. I don't even know how I'm writing this. I'm talking to Parzzival He's getting pissed off because my daughter is better off without me in her life. I don't know. I"m being told that the the only purpose in my life is not right. Everything that I've based my life on is NOT within my grasp. It's all gone. I've lost my sanity. It's found within the syringe that connect with happiness. But at the same time it's not. I remember anger and hate. FUCK THIS! I can't do this. I can't turn her over to people I don't know. Take me to jail...FUCK THAT take me to hell. It can't be any worse then this!!! I feel like that chick Sybil from that movie that Sally Fields was in. I have all these parts of me that are there. I have one person that deals with this and another that deals with that. I realized that's why people don't like my diary. I talk about shit that's supposed to be put away. Like me. I'm supposed to be locked up. I'm nuts .HAHA I'll only kill you if you do one of two things......fuck a little kid or your a priest. LOL You laugh but I'm so fucking serious lol So you've heard of Napster right?? Well, my boy and I got FREE passes (like anyone else paid) for this show.. It's the ONLY fucking thing in my life that I've ever won. It was sooo fucking cool. I only spent 2.50 for the entire show. No parking, no nothing OK I'm too drunk to type i think that my boy stole my drink Akira - 2 * 10 * 00 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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