akira's Diaryland Diary

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92309

it's getting to the point where i hate to sleep. lastnight was too much. music has always been my solitude, a safety switch for when my mind works overtime. never have i had a fucking nightmare where i had music intertwined with the nightmare. that's just not fair. and it had to be him, his voice. my love singing with those images and feelings and pain. oh ya. the pains back after. that's always fun.
i remember why i did all those drugs now. why i shot up all the speed and heroin. makes me wonder why i stopped. well i mean i know why i stopped, but it makes me wonder sometimes. it wasn't all that bad. i wasn't all that bad. i stopped outta the blue. didn't fiend. didn't get sick. just stopped. however, looking back at some pictures of me from back in the day, i did look like a junkie somewhat. only a pretty junkie. hehe
so ya. here i am. the morning after the worst nightmare i've had in a long time. sore. tired. and sober. which at this point sucks ass.
)o( akira

- 9*23*09

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